My Impoverished Artist

He said it was a Vata imbalance. I thought I had a Pitta dosha. Well, apparently, you can have one dominant constitution but still have an imbalance from a secondary one. When I looked up the characteristics of a Vata person, I read that these are the artistic, wired types. So that’s it! My artist is impoverished! She needs a diet of creativity, word smithing, and believing in that big dream of hers. She’s sickly because she does not feed upon the proper nutrition which is daily writing. She’s been looking for her manna, and her owner is not giving it to her. Her owner tends to operate from the right brain hemisphere where everything works according to a formula. But the artist can tell her that has never worked for her in the past. She operates better when she uses her child like eagerness to dance in fields of tall dandelions and create from her playfulness. There’s no order to things as well as no “shoulds” that line up what she “should” be doing. There’s an open field where she longs to roam and if she lets her dance, she might find her energy again.

The Real Bingo (June 2006)

My fingers crave the keyboard like a crazed nymph who’s looking for passion in her myriad of dry lovers. Looking, looking and no one can satisfy that longing within for something that takes her way above her animal acts. One email after another. One enticing profile. The right word. The word that beckons.

Ah email. Can it even compare to an occupation that allows me to write and write all day? One where I can tell you why I love my Tall Vanilla Soy Lattes in the morning, and why I call my newest friend, jazz-muffin. How I can explain to you the days I find my body and emotions weighing in like the tides of the moon? And how bloated I feel after two nights of strawberries with sugar. Whoever thought that you could get fat from strawberries?

It’s like the word “Bingo” went off in my head. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve won “Bingo” in my head. That’s it. I am one step closer to my life calling. I will try that. And then I will try this. And then three years later, I am still trying to figure it out. Yeah, three years is about my average tenure.

I crave words.

Healing words. That’s what the voice said to me one night in bed. Every gift given seemed to have the word healing before it.

So today while beating myself up for lack of chores done once again, I asked myself, “What is it about the Net that drives me so.”

In one word, it came. Communication. Frustration. I want a creative outlet. And so tonight I am exploring what it takes to be a freelance writer.

Why Writing is Good for Highly Creative Folks Like Us

I don’t believe I will be able to manifest fully until I am able to channel my thoughts into my writing. I wake up in the in a fog of ideas, wants, desires and confusion that would do well to stain on paper while sipping a fizzy Diet Coke. (Sorry. Some habits just can’t be kicked. I would prefer a Soy Gingerbread Latte half decaf with no whip but Starbucks gets expensive.) To do this, I must get in the habit of writing everyday.

I write everyday anyway. I am either texting, responding to emails, or posting on social media or developing curriculums at work. So I might as well do my three hand-written morning pages and pick the best for my blog. When the world screams I am a writer and I ignore this, the fog becomes denser. It won’t let me go. Therefore, I either give into my thirst for creativity, or I continue in my destiny avoidance, with no real purpose. When I get to this point, I tend to call my friends looking for an outlet for expression, but it never truly placates me like writing.

When I commit to my daily dose of scribing, I believe my desires will manifest with rapid-speed results. I am not saying I think everyone should write. I just think folks like us with a whirlwind of bottled creative energy, would do well to let it out.

Books I'll Write One Day

Good morning! It’s another wonderful day with a good night’s sleep. Bacon is frying at a slow simmer. Dogs have been fed and let outside. Today is chore day and I vow to myself that I will have tackled 50% of my list before noon. So I am trying something different today. I am limiting myself to the computer. Once in the morning to check email and send out resumes. 30 minutes at lunch time to finish office time. And then anytime after 5 as long as I have chores done. Do you think that will work? I actually have an email flybuddy where we email each other and commit to our daily routine! Isn’t that sort of like two alcoholics meeting in a bar to give each other support? LOL!

I do love writing and really need to explore this more in my journal. I’ve always had this fantasy that after I become a rock star I’ll write several books. Want to hear the titles of them?

Making Your Dreams Come True No Matter What Your Age
How to Get Anything You Want
Food Fit for Royalty: Cooking Gluten and Dairy Free
How to Make Your God Fit Into Your Life
How to Be Truly Happy
How to Have the Relationship of Your Dreams

You are probably laughing by now wondering okay if you are so great, how come you haven’t achieved any of these things? LOL. Well, I am laughing with you, believe me.

One of my girlfriends sent me an email yesterday and said a wise woman kept referring to one of her friends as cocky and able to get anything she wanted. She said that has to be me! Well, I guess I can occasionally be cocky. I told her she fit into that mode as well. Was that a compliment? Hmmmm….

Are you laughing at the relationship one?

I hope the bacon is not burning. Today Show is coming on. Seems like Swine Flu is spreading.